Let’s talk about sex, baby. And a problem that many women face when it comes to pleasure. Orgasms. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be an awkward “middle school health class” kind of deal. We’re going to be open, honest, and blunt.

Orgasming is often made out to be this thing that’s supposed to just… happen. So much so, that a lot of us find ourselves having to fake it ’til we make it, just for the effect. But, sex should be a fun, enjoyable experience for both parties. Some of us just need a nudge in the right direction as to what works for us. Because there’s no right or wrong way to climax.

Keep reading on for a few of our fave ways to “o.”

major keys to reaching an orgasm

Frist thing’s first – let’s kill this idea that if you’re having trouble reaching orgasm, something is wrong with you (or the sex is just…awful). Neither of these things have to be true… well, the latter could play a factor, but not 100% of the time.

Often, if a woman can’t reach climax, it’s actually related to the psyche and/or her not knowing what she likes. Most people aren’t aware that a lot of women need to have some kind of an emotional connection to the person they’re sleeping with to reach climax.

This doesn’t have to be significant. We’re not saying it has to be the love of your life. However, it helps if you have some form of emotional intimacy with them. Even just a liking to their personality!

Having an orgasm is also about trusting the person that you’re with. Some women struggle to have an orgasm if they are feeling any kind of nervousness about the person they’re having sex with. It’s important to be open and honest and to have at least some level of trust present, so that you can feel comfortable enough to let your body relax. Relaxation is what leads to that climax state.

Now on the other hand, if you’re struggling to have a solo-gasm, that’s likely a simple matter of not knowing what you like or the different ways that you can achieve an orgasm.

different kinds of orgasms (& how easy they are to reach)

Whether you’re with a partner or flying solo, there are various kinds of orgasms that you could reach.

clitoral orgasms

This is the type of orgasm that is most known to society. They are the standard…but that’s not a bad thing. They involve direct stimulation of the clitoris (gently and in small circles have been deemed the best method). These orgasms tend to be quick and short-lasting. Sometimes, you may not even realize you had one! However, not everyone likes clit stimulation.

erogenous orgasms

These are orgasms that occur when various parts of the body are stimulated, not just the vagina. These spots can be nipples, ear lobes, your neck, etc. Stimulation of these areas may be needed to reach climax.

anal orgasms

Some women have a difficult time getting off without having their anus stimulated. We know… it sounds a little wonky, but hear us out! Having that area stimulated during sex can actually lead to a G-spot orgasm. These are often the hardest orgasms to achieve but including anal play can actually make it easier for some women.

vaginal orgasms

Yet another popularly talked about option is vaginal orgasms (also known as the G-spot orgasm). This one can be a little tricky sometimes. However, some women find that if you press down on the lower stomach while stimulating that area, it can definitely help lead to an orgasm. You have to find the right pressure, location, and movement (for you), but these orgasms are the ones that last and give you the giggles.

Achieving an orgasm doesn’t always have to hard. Again, it should be fun! And if you’re having trouble, it could be something as simple as you not knowing your body yet. But, it could also mean that you are nervous or anxious about having sex with someone (which is perfectly normal and okay).

You’ll have to figure out which applies to you, but once you do, you’ll find what works best for you! Good luck 😉