If you’re aged 30(ish) or younger, you probably associate the phrase “everything’s lit” with something fun and fresh. We’re here for a good time, not a long time. However, for the sake of mental and emotional health, we are gathered here today to ensure that of all the “lits” you can be, none of them are gaslit.
Have you ever been in a relationship where your self-doubt is so heightened that you feel like you’re losing your mind? If the answer is yes, then you’re probably familiar with the term “gaslighting.”
what is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that occurs in relationships when your partner uses manipulative strategies to convince you of situational misinterpretation.
The gaslighter will typically persuade you to think that your understanding of a situation is flawed or downright incorrect (despite the evidence) and is usually so good at persuasion that the target experiences insanely high levels of self-doubt.
Their desired result: to convince you that you’re somehow at fault for whatever it is that’s happened.
how to spot gaslighting
If you’re questioning the possibility of being gaslit, here’s a translation guide we put together for you:
“You’re so insecure.”
This is said to plant seeds of insecurity in your mind. You probably have tons of confidence, but this makes you doubt your attractiveness, personality, and feelings.
You begin to think you’re at fault for questionable behaviors, and you start wondering if perhaps you might be a trigger to situations.
“You’re so sensitive.”
This makes you feel like an overthinker. So you allow things to slide for fear of thinking too deeply into scenarios.
“You’re imagining things.”
This makes you question whether things even happened. You start feeling as if you’ve lost a sense of reality.
okay, so what do i do if i’m being gaslit?
So maybe you’ve heard a couple of those phrases from your partner. What’s next?
Trust your gut!
Read that again.
It would be best if you first acknowledged that someone is gaslighting you. This isn’t always easy, especially when you have an emotional connection with that person. However, it is essential for your mental and emotional well-being because gaslighting is dangerously unhealthy and, despite what your partner says, is not a showcase of love.
The second step is to figure out if it’s something you and your partner can work on.
Ask yourself these questions: Is it worth it? How much of myself am I willing to give? Am I holding on to a realistic outcome or just potential? Do I need this in my life?
Protect yourself. Pay attention to the signs and if you feel like you’re driving down a dead-end street, it may be time to exit the relationship stage left. We know this is easier said than done, but it’s an essential step for healing.
And do not hesitate to reach out for professional help. Therapists are well equipped to help you to understand your abuse and offer healthy coping mechanisms.
Lastly, surround yourself with people who validate you and help you grow. Your circle directly impacts your quality of life. The moment you start valuing the energies you deserve, the happier and healthier you will be.